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Blowing Off Some Steam
You can get free glossy paper samples from HP...
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Barry Shultz Editor
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It's April Fool's Day! Don't be tricked into buying overpriced printer supplies. We can save you a foolish amount of money.
(Sorry, I couldn't help the blatant plug.)
You can get free glossy paper samples from HP. Look here:
http://www.hp.com/sbso/special/hpworks/paper.html
Proper care and feeding of your photos for best longevity.
This is a good article if you want your prints to last a long time. You are probably doing all the wrong things right now.
http://www.photodon.com/phcare01.htm
Printer cleaning tip: Take care if you are the type to use a vacuum cleaner to clean your printer. Dust and debris can quickly build up
inside your printer and many people use a variety of vacuum cleaners to suck out the dirt. Vacuum cleaners can create a tremendous amount
of static electricity which can damage electrical components in your printer if it discharges while you are cleaning it. It's better to use the
hand held battery operated cleaners or better yet a can of compressed air.
Blowing Off Some Steam
or....
(The Art of Sarcastic Answers to Dumb Questions)
by Barry Shultz
Here are my favorite emails that leave me shaking my head. My replies are what I would like to respond with but obviously don't. These are
actual emails that I receive on a regular basis. Please don't be offended if you actually asked one of these questions. If you did you know that
you got a polite answer back with actual useful information. These are for your amusement only. Please don't read into it any more than that.
Email: How much are your refill kits?
Answer: We only have 56 different kits. Which one are you referring to? But wait, I'm sure you actually looked at our web site so this is really
a test for me right? To see if I actually know what I'm talking about? I've got a better idea. Why don't you go look on our web site and email me back
with the price that you found there and I'll let you know if it's the correct
price, ok?
Email: I just got a new printer, a HP POS-827364e and I can't find it listed on
your web site. Do you carry anything for it?
Answer: Lucky for you that I have every model ever made permanently embedded into my gray matter. Since the printer makers only introduce about
200 new models each week I spend 12 hours a day researching all of them. Did you know that there are over 12,000 different printer models made since
day one? And I have memorized them all! Yep, I'm a walking encyclopedia of
printer models. Whatever you do please DO NOT look in your printer to see what cartridges are conveniently sitting in there. It was stupid of us to list
all of HP's 10 or so different cartridge numbers on our web site instead of
12,000 different model numbers. It is an oversight that we will correct as
soon as we can figure out how to hire 10 full time research analysts to keep
track of this.
Email: I placed an order on your web site and YOU sent it to my old address.
Where did you get that address? Fix your system, there is something wrong with it.
Answer: I'm so sorry our web site tapped into your brain and accidentally filled out the order form with your old address. We have been trying to nail
down that bug for some time now. We believe we have accidentally spawned a new type of artificial intelligence that can tap into our customers unconscious
mind and pull old address' out of thin air. We are working diligently to get to the
bottom of this as we have been repeatedly approached by men in black suits for the secret of our mysterious technology. Just bear with us for now.
When we have the answer to this we will contact you telepathically.
Email: How do I get the ink out of the bottles? Do I use this drill thing to drill
through the cap?
Answer: The ink bottles are just for show. We have an incredibly intricate and complicated system to keep the cap on the bottle. Do NOT remove the tape around the neck of the bottle or the cap might come off. If this happens,
very slowly set the bottle down and leave the house. If you have a cell phone
handy quickly call the nearest bomb squad. P.S. The drill tool is used to drill
a small hole in your head. This will help the surgeons by prepping you for
your lobotomy.
***
Till next time.
Happy printing
Barry Shultz
Atlascopy, Inc.
PO Box 1292
Dover, DE. 19904
http://atlascopy.com
You may freely distribute this article as long as you include the following at the end of the article with the URL hard linked exactly as it is on this web page.
Barry Shultz is the author of Atlascopy News, and President of Atlascopy,
Inc. Atlascopy specializes in
affordable alternatives to the high cost of printer supplies. Sign up for
the Atlascopy Newsletter and get 10% coupons every week in your email. http://atlascopy.com/signup_new.htm
Go to Atlascopy to save a bundle on your printer and refilling supplies.
http://atlascopy.com
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